Things you've never done and know you'll never do.


I never wore a "Baby on Board" t-shirt. I never will.

I've never bared my breasts in response to someone shouting "Show us your tits!" I never will. I thought of that because my secretary told me that her husband's ex-wife, a woman in her 50's, proudly shows visitors to her home her collection of "booby beads" which she's been garnering since she got her implants a couple of years ago. Seems she's happy to comply with this request.

I never went to a Mets game at Shea Stadium with my dad. I never will. And he was surprised that over three decades later I remembered how he refused to take me with him when I was five and he even admitted that he probably would have taken me if I was a boy. We did go to games together, but at Veteran's Stadium when the Mets played the Phillies because the traffic was easier. And now he's gone.